if you disliked it then you should have removed a ring from it

[merovingian_backup]

There is a new restaurant near my gym with a big sign that says "New York Steaks starting at $1." I went inside to try it out and there was a stack of paperwork at the counter.

The guy at the counter was arguing with a customer who was demanding a refund. The customer left in a huff, threatening lawsuit.

"He's mad over a dollar?" I asked.

The cashier just slumped a little. "This restaurant is owned by some folks who gave out adjustable rate structured loans. You know, where they gave out home loans to new buyers where the payments would triple after 18 months and by then the loans would be packaged into complex financial instruments and when people were of course unable to pay we acted surprised and the economy collapsed? And then everyone blames the millions of scam victims? Well, now they are in the steak business, only every time you buy a steak you have to pay by credit card and only find out at the end if your meal that you also just bought one of those foreclosed houses."

"You must get punched a lot," I said sympathetically.

"Yeah, this is the worst retail job ever and I am going to quit. Scams like this only work if you are not around for the victims to yell at."

Comments

[nasu-dengaku.livejournal.com]

if you disliked it then you should have removed a ring from it

That's actually sage advice more married couples should follow. Too often couples stay together out of habit, inertia, or fear of the unknown.

I'm imagining your parody of the song being used by a third-rate divorce lawyer advertising on late-night TV, dancing in his office with the wall crammed full of books behind him.

[merovingian.livejournal.com]

Gosh, I guess it is true for many married couples. I'd say it gets more complicated if you have children involved.

Oh man, I can see the divorce lawyer dancing on late-night TV, and boy, does he have a terrible tie.

Also, my version scans somewhat awkwardly.

[ladygzb.livejournal.com]

if you disliked it then you should have removed a ring from it

Or you shoulda sent it out to find the token ring.

This morning I was threatened with divorce for saying that someone who had that gag pulled on him should produce a Tolkien ring.

[merovingian.livejournal.com]

Ha! Nice.

http://www.xkcd.com/712/

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

I shudder to think how complicated it is buying a Chicago steak!

[merovingian.livejournal.com]

I believe that New York steak refers to the short loin, between the ribs and the sirloin.

Just below it is the flank, which I think by extension is called the New Jersey steak.

[tas527.livejournal.com]

You are brilliant. Just freaking brilliant.

[merovingian.livejournal.com]

Gosh, thanks!

[elynne.livejournal.com]

That does sound like the worst retail job ever. :( Advise the cashier that he should look into the medical industry. I hear that reposessing transplants is a boom market currently...

[merovingian.livejournal.com]

I hear the big business is in harvesting zydrate from the dead.

[kitten-goddess.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's the best parable about the banking industry ever.