Non-Nuclear

[merovingian_backup]

The Russian government just built and tested the biggest bomb ever.

It is very weird that this is not front page news. Or in mainstream American news at all.

I spoke with my parallel history twin, and he says that in his timeline, everyone is in fallout shelters now because of this. Of course, he's also got a terrible, terrible haircut and seems to think it's the best thing ever. And don't even get me started about the zeppelins. Why does every parallel timeline have so many zeppelins?

Comments

[datan0de.livejournal.com]

I think that the better question is why in Gawd's name does this timeline not have zeppelins? It boggles the mind!

While I'm on the soapbox, there are a few other things about this timeline that bug the hell out of me. There's no Peppermint Pepsi, Spam tastes like crap, Microsoft is arguably the most powerful software company in the world rather than a small but well-respected maker of compilers and coding environments, only geeks have ever heard of OS/2, evolution is considered controversial, and narwhals are real animals instead of mythological creatures like unicorns.

Want to know why you people don't have flying cars in the 21st century? Me too. In the alpha timeline, the first fully automated flying car (requiring no special license) for general consumer use was produced by the Tucker Corporation in 1998, after they purchased Moller Aviation in 1996. By 2007 they were selling 12,000 M-404 SkyCars every month.

In short, you people suck.

[aleph.livejournal.com]

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Spam does not taste like crap. It even says "crazy tasty" on the packaging. Can't you kids these days read?

And I hope you're happy: the narwhal is becoming increasingly rare (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Mythologiz---mythation--mythification_of_the_Narwhal) due to a slow process of mythologization. Mytholation. Mytholiatorization. Whatevs.