Vegetable Salad

In 1981, the U.S. Department of Agriculture attempted to reclassify ketchup and pickle relish as vegetables, in order to allow public schools to cut out a serving of vegetables from lunch child-nutrition requirements. There was a media uproar and the policy was never implemented.

Nonetheless, this proposal brought me to ask what else is a vegetable.

I must conclude that the following are all vegetables:
- ketchup
- pickle relish
- parsley garnishing
- napkins
- patience
- kindness
- friendship
- frenemyship
("Make new frenemies/but keep the old/one is bitter/the other's cold")
- robots
- wage garnishing
- the text of the word "vegetable"
- actual vegetables

And so, a recipe.

Vegetable Salad

Ingredients:
All the above vegetables.

Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Don't rush on the mixing -- remember, patience is a vegetable.

Serves ten.

Originally posted to my new DreamWidth recipe journal. You can comment there using your LiveJournal ID and password, thanks to the spooky Internet magic of OpenID.

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