(no subject)

I gambled with a cat last night and won his whiskers. I was figuring he was joking about betting his whiskers, and I took it as a good-natured way of saying that he was out of money and wanted a gentleman's bet. (I bet my opposable thumbs in return. Good thing I won!)

When I woke up this morning, though, I had whiskers. Huge whiskers! Like three feet long each, bobbing out way past my shoulders, and so sensitive!

I could feel the room around me. I could feel people coming and going. I could feel WiFi signal strength, and economic trends, and the vagaries of fashion, and peoples' secret opinions of me, and subtle temporal distortions, and how crispy nearby fried foods might be, and the fuel economy of cars, and the rules to a wide variety of card games. All through the vibrations of those big, sensitive whiskers!

But I look funny. Is it worth it?