(no subject)

I'm sure you've all heard of phantom limb syndrome - a condition where a person with a recent amputation will still feel lost extremities. Human proprioception is unconscious and it takes a while to catch up with changes in the body.

Well, I had something like that this morning, but for limbs I've never had. I woke up grumpy and tried to destroy my alarm clock with my hulking pincer-claws, but they didn't exist. I couldn't drive because I kept thinking I had little whip-like tendrils to shift gears and work the stereo and I got so distracted by it that I had to park and take the bus. At work, I found out that my body expected to have a ten foot prehensile tail with agile nodules at the end, capable of typing on a keyboard far more quickly and elegantly than my two hands so clearly designed for other tricks.

I got worried, so I called a nurse's hotline.

"Don't worry," she said, "That's just your alien DNA kicking in. It usually happens a few weeks before the 35th birthday."

Far too often, "don't worry" is the least comforting thing you can possibly hear.

Anyone else know about this? Should I be worried? Am I going to get a typing-tail or not?