Why I Need Lotion

"You know how any statement that has the word should in it should probably be reworded, because it's implying an obligation that doesn't actually exist? Well, any question that has the word 'or' is probably not the right question. You're asking for a choice between elements in a duality, and if it's a reasonable question, then both answers are probably equally true. When you ask 'A or B?' my answer is almost always going to be 'Both are valid, and they might even be the same. How about a little of each?' I hope that clears things up for you."

He looked at me befuddled, "Um, so does that mean paper, or plastic?"

After making a long pompous statement like that, I couldn't just back down, so I insisted that he stitch together two bags, one plastic, and one paper, to make something that was a little of each. When you firmly proclaim something wrong, it's embarassing to back down.

It turns out that when you use a paper/plastic hybrid bag, your groceries all turn into an equal mass of bees. Let this be a lesson to all of you.