May. 4th, 2002

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A while back, I started doing some NT administration for Vaughn Communications Omaha, this little company in Nebraska that did celebrity website hosting. Our big contracts were Carrot Top, a few mid-sized televangelists, and some of the Muppets.

Not all of them, though, and not the general license. Just a few. When Ralph the Dog won his lawsuit against the record company and did his solo album, we designed the website and hosted it. Ditto for the short-lived and ultimately disastrous Swedish Chef show on the cooking channel. The big names like Kermit and Miss Piggy probably never heard of us, but we became sort of the off-off-off-Sesame hosting service of choice for Muppets working independent from Jim Henson Studios. For a while, we were courting the guy with the Elizabethan collar and the boomerang fish, but his agent ended up contracting his cousin instead.

It's funny, then, that that isn't how I got to be a guest star on the Muppet Show.

The real story involves a Mafia footman who turned state's evidence, a boatload full of stolen towels, a Civil War re-enactment company, and the world's smartest chinchilla. Maybe if you're nice to me, I'll tell it sometime.

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