Ye Olde Thawte Shoppe

You know, it's funny. Even though I live a stone's throw from it, I never go to or even really think about Space Camp. I'd never been there, and while I'd definitely be up for going, I'm too old and not rich enough.

Imagine my pleasure, then, when I received an invitation to a contest there.

"Please describe your humblest virtue," it said, in simple, modernist san-serif, metallic gray on a vellum background. "The winner will receive a laptop computer which doubles as a reliquiary, containing the fingerbone of Lou Salome."

I have recently become very devout to Lou, and a laptop computer containing her fingerbone could easily bring me over the edge into a world of enlightened reason, even more than my previous laptop-related plans of scripting at a crossroads to gain skill. So I settled on over. I was pleased to find that there were only two other people there. It went quickly.

I said: "Despite decades of taunting back-handed smirking warnings, I have never eaten the silica gel."

Another person said: "I've memorized the New Alphabets. The first one has only three letters: Qwest, PayPal, and Nissan. The second one goes Agilent, Barnes, CitiGroup, Dominion, ENI SPA, Ford, Gilette, Nothing, Nothing, J Net, Kellogg, Liberty, Nothing, Inco, Realty Income, Phillips, Qwest, Ryder, Sears-Roebuck, AT&T, US Airways, Vivendi, Nothing, U.S. Steel, Alleghany, and Foot Locker."

The third person remained silent.

They never explained whether we'd be judged on how humble the virtue was, how virtuous it was, how Lou Salome-like it was, or what. They just sent us out.

Then we all went home. Now I'm nervous about this.

[Poll #25942]