Too Many Helmets

Two weeks ago, I got a helmet in the mail. An army helmet. Like a World War II general's helmet. It was heavy and sweat-stained and really cool. No return address or notice. I was pleased, but confused. I put it on top of my TV.

The next day, two helmets - a football helmet and a motorcycle helmet, both fairly modern. I just sort of left them around.

The next day, I got a welder's mask helmety thing, a fake-looking astronauts helmet, and a diving-suit helmet. I threw them all away.

No luck. The next day, I got the three helmets I'd thrown away (how did they get from the trash and into the mail in just a day?), and an additional four helmets. Again, I threw them all away.

The next day, I got twelve helmets total - the seven I'd tried to throw away, and five more. I called the post office, asking them not to deliver any more helmets, and they said they couldn't do that. They actually got a little threatening.

Earlier this week I took out some storage space. Every day, it's more helmets. Today I got fourteen.

I'm beginning to worry. I'm also beginning to think about selling them. If you're in the middle of this kind of thing, why not make money off it?